Wellness

We Care About Your Mind, Body and Spirit

As you are reading these words, you may be looking over your shoulder –maybe not literally, but in the inner dialogue of your mind. It feels like disloyalty to be thinking about legal action involving your family. While things were not great, they are what you know. Everything and everyone is in their place. People can change, you think to yourself. You are filled with doubt. Things can get better if we just work harder.

We hope you are right.

But hear this clearly –there is nothing wrong with gathering information. Educating yourself by reviewing this site or even visiting with one of our lawyers does not mean you are going to get a divorce. It is not, in and of itself, a betrayal. You are not giving up just yet. Getting information about your rights, duties and responsibilities as it relates to your family is an act of self-care and self-preservation.

Right now, you may be feeling angry. While everybody who is married gets angry with his or her spouse from time to time, now it’s different. Your not sure you will get over it. While you never wanted your marriage to end up like this, divorce may be the logical next step. It may even be a dignified response to the recent events or the culmination of years of this type of behavior, and you have finally had enough. Your friends and family may even be further along in the process than you. One thing is clear –you know you need legal counsel. You are just not sure from whom.

You may be in denial, which is another healthy part of the grieving process. Sure, everyone is telling you to talk to an attorney about your marriage, but there is hope inside of you that life will be exactly what you dreamed about on your wedding day. As long as everyone is breathing, there is a possibility, even if a small one, of restoration and reconciliation. You are confused about what may happen, but you are torn about what to do. You just need some questions answered and a little clarity about where you stand. You are not ready to start the process of divorce, but you don’t want to make a mistake either. You can’t take chances with your children, your business, and your retirement, but you don’t even know where to begin. Your life feels like a 10,000 piece puzzle that has been thrown on the ground.

Another healthy feeling is sadness. You have never been this low before. You cannot sleep. You cannot eat. You have no energy. You cannot concentrate at home or at work. There is a cloud of unhappiness following you everywhere you go. You know you need to see a lawyer, but you don’t want to cry through the whole meeting. Hugs from friends and family bring temporary comfort, but you just cannot move your way through the fog your life has become. Your kids are starting to realize things are not as they should be. Everything is so overwhelming you just want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over your head.

Find a New Normal.

We get it.

Maybe you are bargaining with yourself and others. If only this happens, things will be better. You can fix things. The glass is half full. If you change, maybe they will stay. Just a few more counseling sessions, you think. Just one more self-help book. If they will just go to this conference, everything will be okay. If the other person was out of the picture, things could finally get back to normal. Everything is a big misunderstanding, and you just want your life back.

You may find yourself at a place of acceptance. You have worked through denial. You are over the anger and sadness. You have bargained with yourself, your spouse and your friends and family, but you still feel like this is the right decision. There is something new inside of you that needs to be explored. You want things to be amicable and fair, and you don’t want to waste your child’s college fund on lawyers who argue over meaningless words on stupid papers.

We Can Help You Find Your New Normal.

Some people who see us desperately want to stay married. Mississippi is a great place to take this position. On the other end of the spectrum, it may be your goal to divorce as quickly and painlessly as possible. While we help dozens of people get divorced every year, we don’t see it as our job to tell you to give up on your marriage or to stay if you are ready to go. That’s your business. Not ours. Our job is to analyze the legal ramifications of your life circumstances from all the way around the problem. Answering the “What if’s” based on our experience and training.

One thing is guaranteed, you will feel more informed and more in control after you arm yourself with information by visiting with one of our attorneys. Take a minute to complete the Intake Form or call our office. You may not be glad to be in this position, but at a minimum, we will make sure you know what to expect next.

Why Robertson + Easterling?

The wrong legal advice can be dangerous. We approach divorce differently. We make sure you are in charge of your destiny, while embracing those variables out of your control. We believe effective dialogue is the key to a great attorney client relationship. You will see every document and you will know about every communication. There will be no backdoor dealings or pressure to sign something that does not promote your personal goals. We are respected in our community among judges and attorneys. We are the presenters at continuing education seminars, and when you meet with us, you will understand why. When we make mistakes, and everyone does, we make them full speed. We understand this may be our “case”, but IT IS YOUR LIFE.

”Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper.
Taylor Jenkins Reid

Mind

For years we have said “Divorce is a chess match, not a football game.” Football requires physicality and thinking quickly. A football player relies on muscle memory and training. Chess requires pure intellect and strategy. It requires patience and poise.

It goes without saying that you need to be thinking clearly during the process of divorce. You need your lawyer to tell your story. To tell your story, we have to know it. To know it, you have to be self-aware and have the ability to communicate it to us in the safe setting of our conference room as opposed to the battlefield of open court.

Sometimes it is hard to think for yourself when your world is falling apart. That’s why you need feedback from trusted third parties who have no stake in the outcome of your circumstances. You may have a blind spot that needs to be addressed.

Great lawyers know how to communicate the things you may not want to hear.

Body

It is essential to take care of your body if you are facing a divorce. We recommend all potential divorce clients get a complete physical early in the process. This goes without saying if there has been infidelity in your relationship, right? You need to be fully informed about your health condition before you make any big decisions, because it is very common for one’s health insurance status to change and for earning capacity to be analyzed during this season of your life. Also, a parent’s mental and physical health is one of the factors in determining child custody in Mississippi.

Even though things are going to be stressful, it is critical you get plenty of sleep. Sleeping on the couch or in your kid’s bed is not the most conducive environment for a good nights sleep, so explore available alternatives to make sure you get at least 7-8 hours each night. We also recommend you eliminate or significantly cut down alcohol consumption. It is also vital you not consume illegal drugs or legal drugs which are not prescribed to you. It is the natural human tendency to medicate pain, but increased alcohol consumption or drug use will only negatively impact your situation. Another way people medicate pain during the process of divorce is by starting a new relationship. Obviously, a new partner can be exciting and provide temporary relief from emotional pain, but post-separation adultery is still a legal ground for divorce in Mississippi, and a new relationship will impact the child custody analysis. Most veteran counselors recommend waiting at least a year after a breakup before dating. Every human needs meaning and belonging, but seeking belonging from a romantic partner in the wake of a lost relationship is not an ideal way to start your new life.

If you do not regularly exercise, now is a very good time to start. You only have one body, and it is going to be under tremendous stress if you walk through a divorce. You don’t have to sign up for a triathlon. A brisk 30-minute walk or a yoga class will have significant positive health benefits and reduce as much anxiety as a Xanax. Make a promise to yourself that you will put your body in motion every day.

Lastly, healthy eating habits will increase your success when walking through a breakup. Even though your routine has been disrupted, make healthy food choices and fuel your body well.

Check out the article written by Craig Robertson, A Radical Day of Extreme Self-Care

Spirit

Your divorce will be a challenging time for your spiritual life. Many people feel shame, embarrassment and labeled, concerned their faith family will reject them just like the one at home. While we would like to tell you this will not happen, unfortunately, we see it every day. The people supposed to be filled with love and acceptance become finger pointers and side takers. It is enough to make a person lose their religion. If you are in leadership, it is even worse.

Consider this, would you watch a movie in which nothing bad happened? Isn’t every great story about redemption, of overcoming and rising above bad circumstances? You will find more grace and love than you expect from your community, and if you don’t, maybe it is time to find a new one anyway. A comeback always follows a setback.

We came to be aware that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

–Alcoholics Anonymous Step 2

We often see people go to one of two extremes in the wake of family hardship. Some people take their spiritual life more seriously than ever, searching for something concrete when everything is uncertain and unreliable. Others revert to a past season of life with no structure or moral compass at all –an “anything goes” mentality.

We think without exception the path to growth as a human being involves seeking the transcendent, and that is spirituality at its core. Indeed, in a season of rediscovery, you should commit yourself to spiritual growth and development. A quiet peace. An internal castle of protection around your essence, especially when the labels assigned to you by culture are under attack.

FAQs

Should I go to counseling?

Yes. In almost every situation where there is life transition, counseling is an essential tool. Your lawyer is half as qualified and twice as expensive and should not be depended upon to serve your emotional needs. Our attorneys know many counselors in Mississippi, and would be happy to make a referral for you. Here is a list of some of our favorites.

How can I learn more about my character?

The VIA Institute on Character helps people change their lives by tapping into the power of their own greatest strengths. Established as a non-profit organization in 2001, VIA sets out – and continues to – advance both the science and practice of character, and empower those on their strengths-building journey. VIA makes its research accessible to everyone and offers the VIA Survey free of charge, worldwide. When you discover your greatest strengths, you learn to use them to handle stress and life challenges, become happier, and develop relationships with those who matter most to you.

Why is it important to have a health physical if I am facing a divorce?

It is important to have a physical if you think you may be walking through a divorce. A divorce will be one of the milestone moments of your life, and you want to know as much information as possible before making any big decisions. Obviously, if you have a hidden medical condition, we need to know about it.

What is the Enneagram?

The Enneagram is an ancient tool for empathy. It helps you understand that most people see the world differently than you. It is a personality typing system combining spiritual wisdom and modern psychology to describe 9 distinct, dynamic ways of being in the world. Each type is characterized by habitual, patterned responses and unique motivations arising from how one thinks, feels, and behaves. The Enneagram doesn’t “put us in a box” but rather shows us the box we’ve been living in and maps a way out of it. Sarah Duet has some cool resource links where you can learn more. The best introduction to the Enneagram we have heard lately is Episode 37 of The Liturgists Podcast.

Is the Judge going to think something is wrong with me if I take medication for anxiety and depression?

No. Many people who have significant family problems are taking something for anxiety, depression or to help them sleep. Follow the advice of your medical practitioner. Everything is going to be okay. You found us, and we can help with all the legal stuff.

Wholeness Resources

Preferred Counselor List

Ways to Use Your Character Strengths

Unhelpful Thinking Habits with Alternatives

I Am From Poem

Enneagram Chart

R+E Book Recommendations

Basic Grief Cycle

Ball of Grief Graphic

A Radical Day of Extreme Self-Care

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I’ve had the privilege to work with both Craig and Matt and can say they both are outstanding to work with. From the moment I walked into their offices to finalizing my legal issues to questions that come up periodically, they are always available and able to offer excellent legal advice. I would recommend them without hesitation.

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We used Robertson & Easterling to finalize 5 adoptions. The staff is wonderful and Craig goes above and beyond to make sure your experience is smooth and worry free. We will definitely use them again and would recommend them to any family.

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I trust Craig Robertson & Matt Easterling. These guys know what they are doing and are highly respected in the Family Law arena. I consistently recommended this group and always received huge thanks from clients that have worked with R+E.

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In our child custody/guardianship case, Craig told us what to expect, how to deal with it and takes care of details. As issues have arisen over time, he (or his firm) have kept us on top of things. His strong suit is in the courtroom. He knows the law and has the confidence to carry it through. Would recommend him highly.

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Who knew that family law attorneys could be pro-family? Matt and Craig are for their clients. They want what’s best for you. If that means having you work harder to stay married, they’re for it. If it means having difficult conversations to expose irrational thought processes, they have them. These guys are interested in the person that walks in the door not the check book in their pocket. I appreciate the time they spent with me. They help me understand my options and how they would potentially affect all parties involved. Thank you R+E!

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Robertson & Easterling are simply the very best in their field!! I hired Matt for my divorce, and it was the best decision for me and my situation. On the very first phone call, I was put at ease with compassion and care. From start to finish the level of detailed knowledge, professionalism, warmth, and above and beyond service, are what make this firm a standout. More importantly, they possess a very high level of integrity, honor and trustworthiness, making them, in my opinion, priceless and invaluable. You are in good hands with them, and I highly recommend Robertson & Easterling!

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I just wanted to thank you for all of your hard work in helping to finalize the child support settlement. You did an excellent job, and I would highly recommend you to anyone seeking expert legal advice.

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Matthew Easterling was the epitome of both professionalism and compassion as he helped our family during an absolute legal crisis. Our case was unique in many aspects; including the fact that a criminal court component was involved. He not only handled our family court issues wonderfully, but he was an asset to our criminal attorney in those proceedings as well.

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During the darkest days of my life I was referred to Matt Easterling by a family member. He represented me in a very complicated custody case and divorce. And then again when the situation got worse. I was being attacked at every angle and I felt like Matt came to my rescue. He worked endlessly on my case to help me get the results that I was happy and comfortable with. I felt he was very knowledgeable and always felt like I was in good hands. I would not only recommend him, but highly recommend him to anyone in need. Thanks, Matt! For everything!

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Thanks for everything you did to make this divorce as painless as possible. As I said in the beginning, I wanted it my way or I would not be happy. Today, I walked out of your office with a smile on my face. I never thought I would get everything I wanted. If it wasn’t for my faith in God and my trust in you, I do not know how I would have made it to today. Again, thank you for doing such a great job! Hope we can meet on better terms in the future.

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WELLNESS