Divorce is already an emotionally taxing process. The last thing you need is a toxic person—what Julia Cameron calls a “Crazy Maker”—draining your energy and sabotaging your ability to heal and move forward. Craig wrote about Crazy Makers in a blog back in 2014.
Crazy Makers thrive on chaos, inserting themselves into your life at the worst possible moments. They demand attention, stir up drama, and make everything about them. Whether they are an ex-spouse, a friend who fuels negativity, or even a well-meaning but intrusive family member, these individuals can make an already difficult transition even harder.
Recognizing the Crazy Makers in Your Life
Crazy Makers come in many forms, but they all have one thing in common: they thrive on disruption. Here’s how to spot them:
- The Drama Magnet: This person turns every conversation into a crisis and pulls you into their emotional rollercoaster.
- The Guilt-Tripper: They use passive-aggressive comments and manipulation to keep you feeling responsible for their emotions.
- The Critic: No matter what you do, they find a way to undermine your confidence and decisions.
- The Energy Vampire: They leave you feeling exhausted after every interaction, demanding your time and emotional labor without giving anything in return.
- The Instigator: They stir the pot, gossiping, provoking fights, and encouraging conflict rather than resolution.
Before Divorce: Setting Boundaries Early
When you start contemplating or preparing for divorce, it’s essential to protect your mental and emotional space. Toxic people may discourage you, insist you’ll never be happy alone, or push you to act out of fear rather than wisdom. Here’s what you can do:
- Limit Access: Reduce the time you spend with people who bring stress and confusion.
- Be Selective with Confidants: Choose friends or professionals who support you without stirring up additional drama.
- Practice Firm Boundaries: Learn to say “no” to conversations or behaviors that derail your focus.
During Divorce: Protecting Your Emotional Energy
Divorce is a time of high emotional and financial stakes. Crazy Makers will try to insert themselves, offering unsolicited advice, picking fights, or making you second-guess your decisions. To counter this:
- Prioritize Your Mental Health: Work with a therapist or coach who can help you stay grounded.
- Avoid Engaging in Drama: Don’t respond to provocation. Keep interactions with toxic people brief and to the point.
- Stay Focused on What Matters: Legal proceedings, financial stability, and your well-being should be your main concerns.
After Divorce: Creating a Healthier Future
Even once your divorce is finalized, Crazy Makers may still try to exert influence over your life. Whether it’s an ex-spouse trying to maintain control, a friend who enjoys rehashing old wounds, or a family member who refuses to respect your boundaries, staying firm is key.
- Surround Yourself with Healthy Relationships: Invest in friendships and communities that uplift you.
- Enforce No-Contact or Low-Contact When Needed: If someone continues to bring negativity, limit or eliminate interaction.
- Redefine Your Life on Your Terms: Take this opportunity to rediscover what brings you joy, peace, and fulfillment.
Final Thoughts
Healing from divorce is hard enough without Crazy Makers pulling you backward. Recognizing toxic influences and taking steps to remove or minimize their presence is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Your new life should be filled with people who respect your boundaries, support your healing, and contribute positively to your journey forward.
Ready to take the next step? At Robertson and Easterling, we’re here to help you navigate your family law journey with expertise, compassion, and care. Whether you need strategic guidance, fierce advocacy, or simply a listening ear, your story matters to us. Contact us today to discover how we can help you find clarity, confidence, and peace as you move forward. Click here to become a client.
