At Robertson and Easterling, we have walked alongside countless individuals navigating the painful journey of divorce. One thing is clear: healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in community.
Brené Brown, renowned researcher and storyteller, uses the analogy of a “marble jar” to explain trust. In her daughter’s classroom, the teacher kept a jar, adding marbles when the students demonstrated kindness and honesty and removing them when they broke trust. Over time, those who consistently added marbles became trusted friends. Brown calls them “marble jar friends” – the people in your life who have proven their trustworthiness, one small moment at a time.
Divorce is one of the most isolating experiences a person can endure. Relationships shift, support systems change, and many find themselves questioning whom they can rely on. This is when identifying and leaning on your marble jar friends becomes crucial.
Before the Breakup: Building a Foundation of Support
Even before a marriage ends, many sense the fractures in their relationship. During this time, it’s important to cultivate connections with people who see, hear and support you—whether that’s a trusted friend, a faith leader, a therapist, or a small group. These are the people who will help you process your emotions, remind you of your worth, and offer perspective when the weight of uncertainty feels too heavy.
During the Divorce: Choosing Safe and Supportive Relationships
Once divorce proceedings begin, emotions intensify. Anger, grief, fear, and relief may all surface at once. This is normal, but signals you need a safe space to process. Not everyone in your life will be a marble jar friend. Some may offer unsolicited advice, spread negativity, or push their own agenda.
Seek out those who listen without judgment, encourage you without sugarcoating reality, and remind you of your values and long-term goals. Professional support—whether through therapy, a coach like our friend Brent Johnston, or a support group like that provided by Divorce Care—can also provide guidance and walk with you through this transition. Your lawyer’s office is not the place to seek emotional support. They are ill-equipped and too expensive.
After the Divorce: Rebuilding with Intentionality
The end of a marriage is not the end of your story. As you step into your new reality, take inventory of who remains in your life and who you want to welcome in. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, and the loneliness that often follows divorce can be overwhelming.
This is the time to reconnect with old friends, engage in new activities, and open yourself to relationships aligning with who you are becoming. Many find community through church groups, professional networks, or hobbies they once put on hold. The goal isn’t to replace what was lost, but to build something new—one marble at a time.
The Strength of Connection
Divorce is a deeply personal experience, but you don’t have to walk through it alone. Healing is found at coffee shops, in shared meals, through heartfelt conversations, and quiet moments of reflection. Surround yourself with people who add marbles to your jar, and be intentional about doing the same for others.
At R+E, we believe in the power of community. Whether through trusted friendships, professional support, or faith-based connections, finding your people is essential. Divorce may change the landscape of your life, but with the right support, you can rebuild with strength, hope, and resilience.
Ready to take the next step? At Robertson and Easterling, we’re here to help you navigate your family law journey with expertise, compassion, and care. Whether you need strategic guidance, fierce advocacy, or simply a listening ear, your story matters to us. Contact us today to discover how we can help you find clarity, confidence, and peace as you move forward. Click here to become a client.
