Divorce is rarely easy, but when one or both parents struggle with conflict, control, or manipulation, co-parenting can become an exhausting battle. In these cases, traditional co-parenting—where parents collaborate closely to raise their children—may not be realistic or even healthy. That’s where parallel parenting comes in.
Parallel parenting is a structured approach that allows divorced parents to disengage from one another while still maintaining relationships with their children. It’s an especially effective solution when one parent exhibits narcissistic traits, engages in constant conflict, or refuses to communicate in a healthy way.
At Robertson + Easterling, Mississippi’s premier family law firm, we understand that not every divorced couple can co-parent successfully. Our experienced attorneys help clients craft detailed, legally enforceable parallel parenting plans that minimize conflict and protect children from unnecessary emotional strain.
What Is Parallel Parenting?
Parallel parenting is designed for high-conflict situations where direct communication between parents often leads to arguments, manipulation, or stress. Unlike traditional co-parenting, which requires frequent interaction and joint decision-making, parallel parenting minimizes direct contact by establishing clear boundaries and structured guidelines. The goal is to allow both parents to remain involved in their children’s lives while reducing the opportunity for conflict.
In a parallel parenting arrangement, each parent operates independently during their parenting time. They make their own day-to-day decisions without interference from the other, and communication is kept to a minimum, typically restricted to written messages through email or specialized co-parenting applications. Transitions between households are carefully planned to avoid unnecessary face-to-face interactions, often using neutral exchange locations such as school or daycare.
Why Traditional Co-Parenting Fails in High-Conflict Divorces
Co-parenting requires mutual respect, cooperation, and open communication. But when one parent thrives on control or manipulation, trying to maintain a cooperative dynamic often results in more frustration and emotional distress. Some parents use communication to exert power, pick fights, or engage in parental alienation. Others repeatedly violate agreements, create chaos, or weaponize the legal system to prolong disputes.
For many parents in high-conflict situations, forcing a cooperative relationship only leads to more stress. Parallel parenting offers an alternative that removes opportunities for conflict, allowing each parent to disengage from unhealthy dynamics while still maintaining a meaningful relationship with their child.
Structuring a Successful Parallel Parenting Plan
At Robertson + Easterling, we emphasize the importance of a detailed, legally binding parenting plan when implementing parallel parenting. Without clear guidelines, ongoing disputes can continue to disrupt both the parents’ and the child’s lives. A well-structured plan should outline specific parenting schedules, exchange logistics, decision-making authority, and protocols for handling emergencies. The more detailed the agreement, the less room there is for interpretation or manipulation.
Decision-making is a key aspect of any parenting plan. In parallel parenting, responsibilities are clearly divided to prevent unnecessary discussions or negotiations. For example, one parent may have sole authority over medical decisions while the other oversees extracurricular activities. This division ensures that each parent can make choices within their own domain without interference.
Another important aspect of a parallel parenting plan is structuring transitions in a way that minimizes conflict. In many cases, children are exchanged at school or daycare, eliminating direct interaction between parents. If a direct exchange is unavoidable, it should take place in a neutral, public location to reduce the likelihood of conflict.
Using Parenting Communication Apps to Reduce Conflict
Since direct conversations can quickly escalate in high-conflict divorces, many parents turn to co-parenting applications like Our Family Wizard, Talking Parents, and AppClose to facilitate communication. These platforms provide a structured, recorded method of exchanging messages, ensuring that all interactions are documented and reducing the risk of miscommunication or manipulation.
Parenting apps offer features like shared calendars, expense tracking, and message monitoring, making it easier to manage logistics while maintaining a necessary level of separation. Some applications also allow third-party professionals, such as attorneys or mediators, to access communication records, which can be valuable in legal proceedings. By keeping all interactions written and recorded, parents can avoid unnecessary disputes and create a clear history of agreements and violations.
Focusing on Stability for the Child
Ultimately, the most important aspect of any custody arrangement is the well-being of the child. High-conflict divorces can be emotionally damaging, and children often feel caught in the middle of their parents’ ongoing battles. Parallel parenting provides a structured, low-conflict environment that allows the child to maintain relationships with both parents without being exposed to tension, arguments, or manipulation.
Children thrive on stability and routine. When parents engage in constant conflict, it creates uncertainty and emotional distress. Parallel parenting removes the child from the parental disputes, allowing them to develop independent relationships with each parent in a more peaceful environment. The less exposure a child has to conflict, the healthier their emotional development will be.
Parallel Parenting and the Courts
Mississippi family courts prioritize the best interests of the child, and in cases involving high conflict, judges often recognize that parallel parenting is necessary. If co-parenting proves to be unworkable, the court may order a parallel parenting arrangement to reduce ongoing disputes and provide stability for the child.
At Robertson + Easterling, we have extensive experience representing clients in high-conflict custody cases. If your co-parent refuses to engage in healthy communication, repeatedly violates agreements, or thrives on conflict, we can help you create a parallel parenting plan that protects both you and your child.
Final Thoughts: Protecting Your Peace While Parenting After Divorce
Not every divorced couple can co-parent successfully, and that’s okay. For high-conflict situations, parallel parenting offers a structured approach that minimizes direct interaction while allowing both parents to remain active in their child’s life. By focusing on clear boundaries, structured communication, and stability for the child, parallel parenting provides a solution that helps parents move forward without being trapped in endless conflict.
If you’re struggling with a high-conflict custody situation, Robertson + Easterling is here to help. As Mississippi’s premier family law firm, we provide strategic, compassionate representation to help you navigate the challenges of post-divorce parenting. Contact us today to schedule a consultation and start building a plan that works for you and your child. Click here to become a client.
