Every New Year’s Day, I feel the same spark: energy, anticipation, and a sense of transcendence
that’s hard to explain but impossible to ignore. A week later, my birthday adds a second wave of
momentum. I’ve learned that combination isn’t accidental, it’s a pattern.
And it is powerful.
After an extended break—something Matt and I have intentionally protected for years—my mind
clears. My body rests. I connect with my family. But after a few days, the gears start turning
again. Ideas return. Vision returns. I feel pulled back into the work, not out of obligation, but out
of purpose.
That’s the truth a lot of people don’t expect from a divorce lawyer: I genuinely love what I do.
Walking with people who are trying to make their lives better—whether they recognize that
transformation yet or not, is an honor. But it is demanding. It takes a toll mentally, physically,
spiritually. And breaks, especially the sacred pause between Christmas and the start of a new
year, gives our team the reset we need to step back in with clarity.
A few years ago, I wrote about temporal landmarks—those moments in time that create a
psychological dividing line between “before” and “after.” New Year’s Day. Birthdays.
Anniversaries. Sobriety dates. The first day of school. Even the quiet morning someone finally
admits: I can’t keep living this way.
Temporal landmarks matter because they give us something our daily routines cannot:
a sense that change is possible.
And as more time passes, and as I have sat with hundreds of families since that first blog, I’m
more convinced than ever people underestimate the value of these moments.
Why We Still Need Them
Human beings don’t change because everything is perfect, we change because something breaks
the rhythm. A temporal landmark interrupts autopilot. It creates distance from the old story. It
gives you permission to reassess your life honestly. That alone can be transformative.
Research calls this the fresh start effect. You see it every January in gyms, diet programs, and
yes, in family law offices. We always experience a surge of new clients at the beginning of the
year, not because divorce is seasonal, but because hope is seasonal. A temporal landmark creates
a window where people believe change is allowed.
And let me say this again clearly: R+E is not a “New Year, new you, get a divorce” kind of firm.
Half the time, we help people reconcile, stabilize, or rebuild instead of separate. A temporal
landmark is not about choosing divorce, but it’s about choosing honesty. And sometimes, the
bravest thing a couple can do is recommit with clarity instead of walking away.
What I’ve Learned Since Writing the First Article
Back then, I described temporal landmarks mostly as motivational moments. Today, I see them
as something deeper: alignment moments. They align your internal world with the reality of your
life circumstances. When clients come to us in January, they are not just looking for legal
answers. They’re looking for a feeling: steadiness. Direction. A way to cut through the fog.
That’s what temporal landmarks give you—an emotional cue saying, “Pause. Look at your life.
Decide what matters.”
But here’s the part I didn’t fully appreciate until recently:
A fresh start is not something the calendar hands you. It’s something you create through
intention. You can convert almost any day into a temporal landmark if you treat it like one. The
meaning comes from the pause, the reflection, and the decision—not the date printed at the top
of the page.
A Simple Practice That Changes the Temperature of Your
Life
Over the last year, I have spent considerable time thinking about gratitude—not as a nicety, but
as a discipline. There is nothing trendy about it. Gratitude shifts the emotional climate of your
mind faster than almost anything else.
One simple practice has changed the way I show up:
Name three very specific things you’re grateful for—
slowly, intentionally, especially the ones you overlook.
Do it when you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or trapped in negative thinking.
Do it when you’re about to send a reactive message.
Do it when you feel your heart tightening instead of opening.
It’s remarkable how quickly your internal world recalibrates.
And if the thing you’re grateful for is a person, say it out loud. Gratitude expressed audibly
strengthens connection. It cuts through tension. It opens doors that criticism slams shut.
As We Begin 2026
If you’re reading this on a temporal landmark—New Year’s Day—take advantage of the
momentum. Be honest about your life. Be bold about your next step. Be thoughtful about your
direction.
And do not wait for another big date to do it again.
Any morning can be a dividing line.
Any sunrise can be a breakthrough.
Any day can be a temporal landmark—if you choose to treat it like one.
Thank you for reading, for sharing, and for allowing me into a corner of your life.
Here is to the moments that open doors, and to the courage it takes to walk through them.
Happy New Year.
