Mississippi hates divorce. Time and time again our legislators refuse to make it easier to get one. Being the representative or senator associated with divorce is not politically popular, so our system, a creature of statute formed long ago by the predecessors of said elected officials, stays stuck in the 19th century.
I’m not sure how many states share this broken system, but it is not many, and there is a reason. Our system, based on equitable principals, creates inequity and unfairness when the ability to divorce is used as leverage. It’s that simple. I know how to play the game. Trust me. I see less than engaged fathers having joint custody, women who need transitional support not getting it, and men agreeing to pay money they cannot and should not be forced to pay. This increases legal fees and the agony associated with that which is already agonizing. It does not protect marriage. It leverages it. What is done in the name of faith creates an atmosphere of despair for everyone, and our kids get caught in the crossfire. Money that should be used for educations and weddings or to otherwise celebrate life is used to pay my office overhead.
I get it. God hates divorce. Mississippi loves God. Hence Mississippi hates divorce. I love God too, and I am working hard to keep the Robertson household together. I believe in second chances. I think God designed us to experience the fruits of the Holy Spirit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control. Frankly, if you are stuck in a situation where you want a divorce and can’t get one or your spouse is stuck to you and cannot separate, it is not conducive for these states of being. The bazaar thing is we are not usually hanging on to God honoring marriages, we are hanging on to our idealized standards as it relates to this most precious but very difficult relationship. We are playing games with what is good about marriage, and there is plenty.
Marriage is a serious thing. It should not be entered into lightly and it should not be exited hastily, but our system of divorce does more damage than good. Ask ten family law attorneys in Mississippi who know what they are doing and they will tell you the same thing.
And to those saying preach it, amen and hallelujah to me for these comments, a divorce won’t fix your problems either, it will just change them. Your best chance for a successful marriage, especially if you share children, is the one you are in right now.