The Camino de Santiago, an ancient pilgrimage winding through the countryside of Spain, has long served as a spiritual journey for seekers of meaning, clarity, and healing. Stretching hundreds of miles and ending at the shrine of the apostle St. James in Santiago de Compostela, the Camino is more than a physical endeavor – it’s an emotional and spiritual rite of passage. It is an experience that has a life of its own. It breathes, it challenges, and it heals. In many ways, the path mirrors another kind of journey: the deeply personal and often painful road through divorce and into a rediscovered life.
I hiked the Camino de Santiago with my elder daughter in June 2023. It is a journey that I mentally revisit often to remind myself that no matter what I’m facing, I’ll make it through. I just need to come back to center, breathe and remember that I already have what I need inside of me. It is said that your Camino does not end when you reach Santiago; it keeps going. I can attest from my own experience that this is indeed true.
Hiking the Camino was a dream I had set for myself several years ago. When I mentioned it to my daughter, she suggested that we go. We flew to Spain a month after her high school graduation with our fitted backpacks, new hiking shoes, and preparation that was really not preparation at all. After we started walking, it became clear that we were “winging it”. While I was walking a dream to fruition, I held the weight of my grief inside. I knew I had to leave my marriage. I had been enduring decades of abuse and deception, slowly emerging from the fog of that distorted reality and stepping into the clarity of my God-given awakening. My intentions were to notice the signs God was giving me, learn how to listen to my intuition again, and rediscover parts of me that were forced to be silent and small in my marriage. The entire experience was walking in a continual trance of prayer. I was a pilgrim on a journey. Seeking, grieving, laughing, hurting, surrendering…
Much like beginning the Camino, the early days of divorce are marked by uncertainty and disorientation. Pilgrims often start their trek with too much baggage – literal and figurative – only to discover, step by step, what truly matters. One of the main attractions of the Camino is Cruz de Fierro. It is a simple cross that stands atop a weathered pole not far from Foncebadon. Pilgrims have been leaving rocks at the foot of the cross for years as a symbol of leaving the weight of their burdens. Divorce, too, begins with a similar kind of weight. Emotional burdens, the sting of betrayal, fear of the future, financial stress, and grief over what has been lost all weigh heavily. But just as pilgrims gradually lighten their loads, those navigating divorce begin to let go of resentment, guilt, shame, and expectations that no longer serve them. As I walked the Camino, my backpack grew lighter as I released the things that I did not need. What I let go of were more than just objects – they mirrored the burdens I had carried too long.
Both journeys also require endurance. On the Camino, the terrain changes – steep climbs, rocky paths, changing weather, and moments of breathtaking beauty coexist. Similarly, divorce brings waves of hardship and healing. One day might be filled with legal negotiations or tense co-parenting dynamics; another might bring an unexpected moment of peace or a renewed sense of self. There are tears, and there are triumphs. The key is continuing to walk forward, even when it hurts and even when you don’t know what’s ahead.
Importantly, the Camino is not meant to be walked alone. Along the way, strangers become companions, offering encouragement, empathy, laughter, wisdom, or simply shared silence. On the road through divorce, healing often comes in community, too – a wise attorney, a faithful friend, a support group, or a therapist can make all the difference. These companions don’t carry the burden, but they help lighten the emotional load.
Both paths also offer sacred moments of clarity. On the Camino, many describe finding themselves through the rhythm of walking and the simplicity of the journey. In divorce, the turning point often comes when a person begins to reimagine life – not as something broken, but as something being rebuilt. The person who once identified only as spouse, or parent, or partner begins to rediscover the deeper, enduring parts of who they are. They find the strength they didn’t know they had. They learn to trust themselves again. They may even discover new dreams. It is a beautiful awakening through pain.
The Camino ends at a great cathedral – a symbol of spiritual arrival – but the true transformation happens along the way. That transformation continues after reaching the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela. It is a force opening the way for further healing and the birth of a new life.
So it is with divorce.
I carry my Camino with me every day. And every day I use what I learned from my experience. I might not know what’s down the path, but I’ll get there. At times, everything hurts, and I feel I can’t move, but I keep moving. I can feel helpless, but there is always someone willing to help me.
In divorce, the goal is not just legal resolution but personal renewal. And like the pilgrims who return from Spain changed forever, many who emerge from divorce do so with a quiet confidence, clarity of purpose, and a deeper connection to their inner compass. Through the journey, there is a chance to heal, grow, and embrace a life built on freedom, authenticity, and hope.
At Robertson + Easterling, we offer thoughtful, compassionate consultations to help you process your story, understand your options, and make decisions rooted in clarity-not crisis. If you need someone to talk to, reach out today to schedule a confidential consultation. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Buen Camino
